Life with PCOS
Here is something that many of you may not know about me. I was not supposed to have children, or at the very least, getting pregnant would be very difficult for me. I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome or PCOS. This is why I cannot have anymore children. I was diagnosed in 2003 after trying to get for a year to get pregnant. It would take 2 more years and me finally giving up for me to finally get pregnant with my son.
But is so much more than having a bunch of cysts on my ovaries. It is an endocrine and a metabolic disorder. It is systemic. There are 4 main types of PCOS, and some types are more obvious than others. For many women, it makes it nearly impossible to lose weight, diets and exercise just don't work very well, and they have to try 100 time harder just to lose a pound where it takes others a few workouts or cutting out a certain food. I am fortunate that I am not one who deals so much with weight problems, but I do put on weight easier than I would prefer. Other women can't have the opposite problem and can't gain weight. Their doctors are constantly chastising them for being underweight, and people accuse them of being anorexic or bulimic, but they aren't. They just can't gain weight. They can out eat the best of them, and if they are lucky, they may gain a few ounces.
Another issue almost all women with PCOS deal with is facial hair. Yes, you read that right. Facial hair, and lots of it. This is due to an elevated amount of testosterone. Some women can grow full mustaches and beards easier than some men! Getting rid of it is a pain. Laser hair removal doesn't work because of the hormone imbalance, waxing only works for a few days at most, tweezing only works for a day or two, if a woman chooses to shave, she may have to shave multiple times a day. So the next time you see a woman sporting some facial hair, understand that she may have just given up that day and couldn't care less what you think about whether or not she is acceptable enough to be seen in public. Or maybe she did her daily hair removal that day, and it grew back anyway.
Yes, I deal with this. Yes, I wax. I wax 2, sometimes 3 times a week. I go to my hair stylist once a month and have her do a professional wax because it lasts a few days longer when she does it. I tweeze every. single. day. multiple. times. a. day. Just so I can feel like maybe I'm a woman on a daily basis. I went a week once without doing it, and went out in public, and got accused of being a cross-dresser by one man, and a trans woman by a group of men. Most humiliating day of my life!!! And believe me, I've been through some doozies, but that took the cake. And I don't even get near as much facial hair as some of these women do. I never go that long anymore, but sometimes I get lazy, and go skip a day between tweezing, especially if I know I'm not going anywhere.
Which brings me to another point. Chest hair. Yes, some women with PCOS have chest hair too. Waxing is an option, but if no one is going to see it, or if someone who is going to see it doesn't care, then why put yourself through the unbearable pain of ripping hair out of your nipple skin? I certainly don't want to torture myself. Ripping hair out of my face skin is bad enough. No need for me to add that pain to the list of things I do to myself as a result of this disease.
Which leads me to hair loss. Yes, women with PCOS may actually go bald, or near bald. My hair is thinning, but not to the point that I think I may go bald someday, but I have noticeable thinning. I was a girl who was proud of my super thick hair as a teen. I was constantly breaking barrettes, stretching out, or breaking hair ties. I could barely wrap a hair tie twice around my hair. Now, I can wrap it 4 or 5 times, and the hair tie is still loose. I lose handfuls of hair in the shower everyday, and even more when combing my hair. Cutting it short helped make it look thicker, but I will never have the thickness I once had.
Now for the not so obvious affects of PCOS. Many women with PCOS often suffer from anxiety and depression. This is due to the imbalance of hormones, not because of their personalities, or they don't try, or whatever, hormones. Repeat after me, hormone imbalances cause these issues, and their isn't a damn thing they can do about it. I don't suffer from depression, but I do occasionally deal with anxiety, but for me, this is usually the result of not enough water, and a hypoglycemic event. Low blood sugar and dehydration will throw me into a panic faster than anything else out there.
The extra weight puts them at risk for numerous diseases. Cardiovascular is just one of the many hidden diseases a person with PCOS may suffer from. They may also be at risk for diabetes because their metabolism forces the hormones responsible for regulating blood sugar to malfunction. Diet helps, but not always because this is an endocrine problem, not a diet problem.
I am not at risk for diabetes, fortunately, but I do have hypoglycemia, which is another issue many women with PCOS suffer from. Some are fortunate not to have to deal with either of these.
Missed periods, no periods, painful periods. These women may go years without a period. I personally have gone without one for 6 months. Before you women start thinking how nice it must be to go without a period, think again. Missed periods cause thickening of the endometrial lining, putting a woman at a very, very high risk for endometrial cancer. Doesn't sound so fun does it? Any doctor who treats women knows prolonged absent period knows this. But the good ones will make sure that the woman who doesn't have periods is forced via hormone treatment to have one at least once a year.
A woman with PCOS may have a very unpredictable cycle. She may get 2 periods one month, and then not another for 3 months. For those that are somewhat regular, she may go 30 or more days between periods. A typical cycle is anywhere between 25 and 28 days. If she is one of the lucky ones who ovulates every month - yes a woman can get a period without ovulating - she may ovulate too close to her period, essentially eliminating the chance of a fertilized egg attaching to her. It is simply washed out when she gets her period instead. This was my problem. I tended to ovulate approximately 1 week before my period. Most women ovulate 2 weeks before their periods. It takes approximately 10-14 days after fertilization for the embryo to implant in the endometrial lining. If the embryo doesn't implant, it leaves the body with the lining. So, it is possible I was having numerous miscarriages without ever knowing I was pregnant. Many of these women can never get pregnant, even with the help of fertility drugs.
Painful periods. Not ovulating, or going very long without a period, causes the endometrial lining to be thick. This leads to cramps, clots, and more cramps. A woman with PCOS who has to stay home during her period is NOT exaggerating. She may very well be bleeding to the point that she will bleed through her tampon, her back-up pad, and through her clothing every few hours. Is this normal? No, but for a women with PCOS, it may very well be. I have been fortunate that most of my periods have not been like this, but I do know women who go through this every time they have a period.
Benefits of living with PCOS. At this point, you may be thinking, how can there possibly be any benefit to living with this, well there are a few. Traditionally, in times of famine, women with PCOS were able to withstand the worst of it much better than those without. This has been documented prior to the middle ages. They tended to be the stout, childless women, or women with only 1 or 2 children while their counterparts had numerous children. While others were dying around them from starvation, these women were not. And, as they lost weight due to lack of food, many were able to get pregnant. Much as it is today. The women who struggle the most with their weight, tend to be able to get pregnant when they finally, painstakingly, lose some.
Another benefit - muscle mass. Women with PCOS tend to be stronger than their non-PCOS counterparts, due to the increased levels of testosterone and other androgens coursing through their body. Just like men, some will have lean muscle mass, some will bulk up. I fall under the lean muscle mass, and am a lot stronger than I look. I have surprised many people throughout my life with this. But, as we have all heard, more muscle tends to help burn fat, so that can be an added benefit for women with PCOS. I was reminded of this over the summer when I was heaving heavy rocks on a daily basis on my land. I wasn't losing weight, but I was losing inches, quickly because I was building muscle mass just as quickly. It was a lot of fun!
So the next time you see an overweight woman with a few stray facial hairs, and you think, "what a fat slob," consider that maybe, just maybe, she is suffering from PCOS and is going through a lot more than you realize.
But is so much more than having a bunch of cysts on my ovaries. It is an endocrine and a metabolic disorder. It is systemic. There are 4 main types of PCOS, and some types are more obvious than others. For many women, it makes it nearly impossible to lose weight, diets and exercise just don't work very well, and they have to try 100 time harder just to lose a pound where it takes others a few workouts or cutting out a certain food. I am fortunate that I am not one who deals so much with weight problems, but I do put on weight easier than I would prefer. Other women can't have the opposite problem and can't gain weight. Their doctors are constantly chastising them for being underweight, and people accuse them of being anorexic or bulimic, but they aren't. They just can't gain weight. They can out eat the best of them, and if they are lucky, they may gain a few ounces.
Another issue almost all women with PCOS deal with is facial hair. Yes, you read that right. Facial hair, and lots of it. This is due to an elevated amount of testosterone. Some women can grow full mustaches and beards easier than some men! Getting rid of it is a pain. Laser hair removal doesn't work because of the hormone imbalance, waxing only works for a few days at most, tweezing only works for a day or two, if a woman chooses to shave, she may have to shave multiple times a day. So the next time you see a woman sporting some facial hair, understand that she may have just given up that day and couldn't care less what you think about whether or not she is acceptable enough to be seen in public. Or maybe she did her daily hair removal that day, and it grew back anyway.
Yes, I deal with this. Yes, I wax. I wax 2, sometimes 3 times a week. I go to my hair stylist once a month and have her do a professional wax because it lasts a few days longer when she does it. I tweeze every. single. day. multiple. times. a. day. Just so I can feel like maybe I'm a woman on a daily basis. I went a week once without doing it, and went out in public, and got accused of being a cross-dresser by one man, and a trans woman by a group of men. Most humiliating day of my life!!! And believe me, I've been through some doozies, but that took the cake. And I don't even get near as much facial hair as some of these women do. I never go that long anymore, but sometimes I get lazy, and go skip a day between tweezing, especially if I know I'm not going anywhere.
Which brings me to another point. Chest hair. Yes, some women with PCOS have chest hair too. Waxing is an option, but if no one is going to see it, or if someone who is going to see it doesn't care, then why put yourself through the unbearable pain of ripping hair out of your nipple skin? I certainly don't want to torture myself. Ripping hair out of my face skin is bad enough. No need for me to add that pain to the list of things I do to myself as a result of this disease.
Which leads me to hair loss. Yes, women with PCOS may actually go bald, or near bald. My hair is thinning, but not to the point that I think I may go bald someday, but I have noticeable thinning. I was a girl who was proud of my super thick hair as a teen. I was constantly breaking barrettes, stretching out, or breaking hair ties. I could barely wrap a hair tie twice around my hair. Now, I can wrap it 4 or 5 times, and the hair tie is still loose. I lose handfuls of hair in the shower everyday, and even more when combing my hair. Cutting it short helped make it look thicker, but I will never have the thickness I once had.
Now for the not so obvious affects of PCOS. Many women with PCOS often suffer from anxiety and depression. This is due to the imbalance of hormones, not because of their personalities, or they don't try, or whatever, hormones. Repeat after me, hormone imbalances cause these issues, and their isn't a damn thing they can do about it. I don't suffer from depression, but I do occasionally deal with anxiety, but for me, this is usually the result of not enough water, and a hypoglycemic event. Low blood sugar and dehydration will throw me into a panic faster than anything else out there.
The extra weight puts them at risk for numerous diseases. Cardiovascular is just one of the many hidden diseases a person with PCOS may suffer from. They may also be at risk for diabetes because their metabolism forces the hormones responsible for regulating blood sugar to malfunction. Diet helps, but not always because this is an endocrine problem, not a diet problem.
I am not at risk for diabetes, fortunately, but I do have hypoglycemia, which is another issue many women with PCOS suffer from. Some are fortunate not to have to deal with either of these.
Missed periods, no periods, painful periods. These women may go years without a period. I personally have gone without one for 6 months. Before you women start thinking how nice it must be to go without a period, think again. Missed periods cause thickening of the endometrial lining, putting a woman at a very, very high risk for endometrial cancer. Doesn't sound so fun does it? Any doctor who treats women knows prolonged absent period knows this. But the good ones will make sure that the woman who doesn't have periods is forced via hormone treatment to have one at least once a year.
A woman with PCOS may have a very unpredictable cycle. She may get 2 periods one month, and then not another for 3 months. For those that are somewhat regular, she may go 30 or more days between periods. A typical cycle is anywhere between 25 and 28 days. If she is one of the lucky ones who ovulates every month - yes a woman can get a period without ovulating - she may ovulate too close to her period, essentially eliminating the chance of a fertilized egg attaching to her. It is simply washed out when she gets her period instead. This was my problem. I tended to ovulate approximately 1 week before my period. Most women ovulate 2 weeks before their periods. It takes approximately 10-14 days after fertilization for the embryo to implant in the endometrial lining. If the embryo doesn't implant, it leaves the body with the lining. So, it is possible I was having numerous miscarriages without ever knowing I was pregnant. Many of these women can never get pregnant, even with the help of fertility drugs.
Painful periods. Not ovulating, or going very long without a period, causes the endometrial lining to be thick. This leads to cramps, clots, and more cramps. A woman with PCOS who has to stay home during her period is NOT exaggerating. She may very well be bleeding to the point that she will bleed through her tampon, her back-up pad, and through her clothing every few hours. Is this normal? No, but for a women with PCOS, it may very well be. I have been fortunate that most of my periods have not been like this, but I do know women who go through this every time they have a period.
Benefits of living with PCOS. At this point, you may be thinking, how can there possibly be any benefit to living with this, well there are a few. Traditionally, in times of famine, women with PCOS were able to withstand the worst of it much better than those without. This has been documented prior to the middle ages. They tended to be the stout, childless women, or women with only 1 or 2 children while their counterparts had numerous children. While others were dying around them from starvation, these women were not. And, as they lost weight due to lack of food, many were able to get pregnant. Much as it is today. The women who struggle the most with their weight, tend to be able to get pregnant when they finally, painstakingly, lose some.
Another benefit - muscle mass. Women with PCOS tend to be stronger than their non-PCOS counterparts, due to the increased levels of testosterone and other androgens coursing through their body. Just like men, some will have lean muscle mass, some will bulk up. I fall under the lean muscle mass, and am a lot stronger than I look. I have surprised many people throughout my life with this. But, as we have all heard, more muscle tends to help burn fat, so that can be an added benefit for women with PCOS. I was reminded of this over the summer when I was heaving heavy rocks on a daily basis on my land. I wasn't losing weight, but I was losing inches, quickly because I was building muscle mass just as quickly. It was a lot of fun!
So the next time you see an overweight woman with a few stray facial hairs, and you think, "what a fat slob," consider that maybe, just maybe, she is suffering from PCOS and is going through a lot more than you realize.
My second wife had PCOS. She used to have me pluck her nipple hairs, and it was actually kind of erotic.
ReplyDeleteShe also had the hair loss problem (the shower drain was always a nightmare, and she wouldn't clean it out), and the weight problem. In fact, the hormonal/emotional problems may have contributed to her becoming an ex-wife when her personality completely changed after her dad died.
You've given me a little insight into what she was going through, although I never really had any hard feelings toward her anyway. It is what it is.