Catfished
I recently allowed myself to play along with a catfisher, just to see what it it's like and to understand how many people fall for their schemes. Surely be that stupid to fall for these schemes, I thought. So, I played along, just to see if it would be that easy for them to trap you.
Here's my story:
I use a few different social media platforms, Facebook, Instagram, and the lesser-known, but less restrictive MeWe (I will talk about why I like MeWe so much in another blog someday). Any one of those could attract a catfisher, but this particular time it was on MeWe. Just a point of clarification, this wasn't the first time someone tried to catfish me, it was just the first time I decided to pretend I bought into it and take it as far as I could. I decided I would play along, just to see where it led, and how long it would take for the individual to A) confess his undying love, and/or his desperate need for me to help him and B) ask for money in any form. It didn't take long.
Out of privacy and respect for the individual being copied, I will not post any of the pictures that the catfisher sent me. Even though the individual is well known and you can find his pictures everywhere, some of those included pictures of family members that are not as well known. I will explain later.
There are numerous sources out there outlining the warning signs of a catfisher. And they are all pretty much the same and most of them are usually pretty apparent at the beginning.
1. They appear incredibly good looking or the situation seems to be too good to true.
A well-known, drop-dead gorgeous Norwegian male model sends me a friend request on MeWe. I knew who he was because, hello, he's gorgeous. Anyway, I'm thinking, yeah, this is way too good to be true. But, I click accept anyway, because why not? He almost immediately went to my inbox. I said Hello back, but then, his messages disappeared, and MeWe said that he was no longer a member. Ok, whatever. But, then about a month later, they showed back up and he said he was sorry for not getting back to me because he had been busy. Hmm... His profile then showed that he joined in January, not in December when he first messaged me. Red Flag #1
2. They give every excuse in the book to not show you pictures or videos of them at that moment. When questioned, they give more excuses.
I questioned him pretty early on, why was he using MeWe to find an old friend, why was he talking to me?
They may use pictures of them that you can find online to verify their identity.
You can easily verify those with a reverse image scan, but here's the kicker. He used one that was only in one other place, a private Norwegian pinterest account. When I searched for the image, it suggested it was a picture of friendship (I'll explain more about this picture below) and it gave me other similar pictures portraying friendship. And at the very bottom of the one page result, was the pinterest page showing that picture. The other he sent me was on the real individual's verified Facebook page and his verified Instagram page, as well as hundreds and hundreds of other places. There were pages of results. But it was that one picture, the one with few results that made me question if this was really a catfisher or not. Clever on the catfisher's part.
He even sent me a screenshot of the real person's instagram page. Notice I said screenshot, not a link, because if he had sent a link to it, then he would have actually been the real person, or had hacked the real person's instagram account.
3. They use information about the celebrity they are copying in order to gain your trust.
Back to that picture, even though I knew he was a catfisher going into it, that picture made me question my initial suspicion. Despite the fact that he got his facts wrong concerning it.
He initially said it was his daughter, but when I questioned, he said it wasn't his biological daughter, but a girl he took as a daughter. No, that is not the case either, that little girl is his niece and the resemblance is quite obvious. Ok, so I let this one slide, only for the mere fact that it couldn't really be found in reverse image searches, and I ran several on that particular picture. How did I know that he wasn't, in fact, raising his niece, despite the fact that nothing written about him said he was?
4. They request a different venue for the chats, such as whatsapp, or hangouts.
I agreed to this, only so I could keep the conversation going, plus, I really don't like the chat setup on MeWe, given that it doesn't have a separate chat app like Facebook does. And, I was having no problem receiving his messages, there was no time-lag like he was claiming, but ok, I'll agree to your little game.
5. The "relationship" progresses very quickly.
Some of the pictures above outline the quickness of the relationship. He wants to be "best friends forever" What? Really? He even was worried about me having a husband who might be jealous. Why would my husband be jealous at this point? He only said he wanted to be my friend, but later, when we were on hangouts, he "confessed" his love for me. Literally two days after we started chatting.
Um, yeah, I live with my husband. I never gave any indication that I was not with him. "Jealous lover?" What? Really? Why should he be jealous of a friendship, what were you planning that would make him jealous. I simply replied with he doesn't mind me making friends and left it that.
These next ones are from after we switched to hangouts.
I sent him a picture I used as my profile picture not too long ago. I didn't think it would be a good idea to send him one I had never posted before, in case he wanted to copy my pictures and pretend to be me someday. At least this way, someone could do a reverse image scan and see it had been used before.
What never said this to any woman? An interview said he thought he was madly in love with his first girlfriend at 14. He surely must have told her or other girlfriends that he loved them.
Ok, well according to the interviews, that part is true, he has been single awhile.
Any doubts I had left at this point were whisked away quickly. He may be have tried to pretty convincing he wasn't a catfisher, but no one confesses love that quickly without ever having met in person. Especially since I brought up my husband numerous times in our conversations.
6. They ask you to join a business venture, charity, or outright ask you for money. Often they will ask for things like itunes cards or other cards that can be sent over email. It may not be a lot at first, but if they keep doing it, and you keep sending them, it could add up to quite a bit.
It was after his confession of love that he switched tactics when he realized that wasn't going to work. He asked me to be his business partner instead. He still had yet to ask me for money, and I was beginning to wonder when he would.
He wants me to be his what??? He has no idea who he's talking to if he thinks I would make a good manager of anything.
Ok, so he still hasn't asked me for money... When was that going to happen? At this point, I was wondering if he was going to ask for a way to put a deposit on a place, or a money order so he could. I wasn't sure.
It wasn't unti the next morning that he finally pulled out the money card.
Um, no. I tried to tell him I had no money to give. He kept pleading.
I tried calling him out on his scheme by sending a screenshot of the real person saying he would never ask for money in any form. He kept pleading.
I decided to call him out on his scheme again.
That was it, I was done playing. I gave him an ultimatum, give me what I want, or no money. He gave more excuses and more pleading.
You're right Mr. Catfisher, you should be embarrassed. You picked the wrong girl to catfish. Buh, bye. PS. My friends are on to you. Those that you have sent friend requests to, they are going to play you as well, and then when they are done, they are going to block and report you, just like I did. Have fun with that.
Too bad I can't get a job with some agency to do be a catfish lure and play along until the agency is ready to drop the anchor.
Other warning signs you should look for are refusal to ever meet, or unable to meet. Also, if they claim to be from the US, Canada, or England, or other English speaking countries, and seems to have a bad handle of the language, run. Yes, this person's English was not that good, but he claimed to be from Norway, so his English might not be that good.
Again, and this cannot be stressed enough, if anyone is asking you for money in this manner, no matter how convincing they are, don't do it. I read an article about a woman who thought that the real Phil Collins had contacted her and she ended up sending him almost $15,000 over a year's time.
After experiencing this first hand, I know now how easy it can be to get caught up in these schemes. They are quite convincing, they will give you sob stories, they will give you a million reasons why they need the money. The only mistake that this one made, is he didn't spend enough time trying to kindle a friendship, he mistakenly thought I had fallen for it hook, line, and sinker. Of course, that is what I had intended all along. Sure, I could have been more convincing, made it sound like I would leave my husband for him, or whatever, but this worked.
I certainly don't recommend trying to catfish a catfisher, it is extremely time-consuming, but it is very eye-opening. I learned a lot about myself when I caught myself briefly doubting that he was a catfisher. As I researched more about catfishers and read stories from people who have been catfished, I learned that not all catfishers move as quickly as this one did. Some will actually try to cultivate a relationship over weeks, sometimes months, in order to get money. Those that do that are often more successful, but I would imagine it takes a great deal of patience. But, those who use celebrities as their tactic are also quite successful as well. Because who doesn't want to think that some gorgeous celebrity is head over heels in love with them. Isn't that everyone's wish? Well, maybe not everyone's, but certainly a lot of people's. So, my take away advice, stay safe, it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. And if they start asking for money, bail. If they refuse to prove their identity, bail. Block, report, and move on with your life. If you gave money, report it to the authorities.
Here's my story:
I use a few different social media platforms, Facebook, Instagram, and the lesser-known, but less restrictive MeWe (I will talk about why I like MeWe so much in another blog someday). Any one of those could attract a catfisher, but this particular time it was on MeWe. Just a point of clarification, this wasn't the first time someone tried to catfish me, it was just the first time I decided to pretend I bought into it and take it as far as I could. I decided I would play along, just to see where it led, and how long it would take for the individual to A) confess his undying love, and/or his desperate need for me to help him and B) ask for money in any form. It didn't take long.
Out of privacy and respect for the individual being copied, I will not post any of the pictures that the catfisher sent me. Even though the individual is well known and you can find his pictures everywhere, some of those included pictures of family members that are not as well known. I will explain later.
There are numerous sources out there outlining the warning signs of a catfisher. And they are all pretty much the same and most of them are usually pretty apparent at the beginning.
1. They appear incredibly good looking or the situation seems to be too good to true.
A well-known, drop-dead gorgeous Norwegian male model sends me a friend request on MeWe. I knew who he was because, hello, he's gorgeous. Anyway, I'm thinking, yeah, this is way too good to be true. But, I click accept anyway, because why not? He almost immediately went to my inbox. I said Hello back, but then, his messages disappeared, and MeWe said that he was no longer a member. Ok, whatever. But, then about a month later, they showed back up and he said he was sorry for not getting back to me because he had been busy. Hmm... His profile then showed that he joined in January, not in December when he first messaged me. Red Flag #1
I questioned him pretty early on, why was he using MeWe to find an old friend, why was he talking to me?
They may use pictures of them that you can find online to verify their identity.
You can easily verify those with a reverse image scan, but here's the kicker. He used one that was only in one other place, a private Norwegian pinterest account. When I searched for the image, it suggested it was a picture of friendship (I'll explain more about this picture below) and it gave me other similar pictures portraying friendship. And at the very bottom of the one page result, was the pinterest page showing that picture. The other he sent me was on the real individual's verified Facebook page and his verified Instagram page, as well as hundreds and hundreds of other places. There were pages of results. But it was that one picture, the one with few results that made me question if this was really a catfisher or not. Clever on the catfisher's part.
He even sent me a screenshot of the real person's instagram page. Notice I said screenshot, not a link, because if he had sent a link to it, then he would have actually been the real person, or had hacked the real person's instagram account.
3. They use information about the celebrity they are copying in order to gain your trust.
Back to that picture, even though I knew he was a catfisher going into it, that picture made me question my initial suspicion. Despite the fact that he got his facts wrong concerning it.
He initially said it was his daughter, but when I questioned, he said it wasn't his biological daughter, but a girl he took as a daughter. No, that is not the case either, that little girl is his niece and the resemblance is quite obvious. Ok, so I let this one slide, only for the mere fact that it couldn't really be found in reverse image searches, and I ran several on that particular picture. How did I know that he wasn't, in fact, raising his niece, despite the fact that nothing written about him said he was?
4. They request a different venue for the chats, such as whatsapp, or hangouts.
I agreed to this, only so I could keep the conversation going, plus, I really don't like the chat setup on MeWe, given that it doesn't have a separate chat app like Facebook does. And, I was having no problem receiving his messages, there was no time-lag like he was claiming, but ok, I'll agree to your little game.
5. The "relationship" progresses very quickly.
Some of the pictures above outline the quickness of the relationship. He wants to be "best friends forever" What? Really? He even was worried about me having a husband who might be jealous. Why would my husband be jealous at this point? He only said he wanted to be my friend, but later, when we were on hangouts, he "confessed" his love for me. Literally two days after we started chatting.
I chose not to follow up on this, because I really didn't feel like hearing about it. I had heard it before from other catfishers, and that's where I would usually end the conversation, if I hadn't ended it before that point.
Um, yeah, I live with my husband. I never gave any indication that I was not with him. "Jealous lover?" What? Really? Why should he be jealous of a friendship, what were you planning that would make him jealous. I simply replied with he doesn't mind me making friends and left it that.
These next ones are from after we switched to hangouts.
I sent him a picture I used as my profile picture not too long ago. I didn't think it would be a good idea to send him one I had never posted before, in case he wanted to copy my pictures and pretend to be me someday. At least this way, someone could do a reverse image scan and see it had been used before.
Ok, well according to the interviews, that part is true, he has been single awhile.
6. They ask you to join a business venture, charity, or outright ask you for money. Often they will ask for things like itunes cards or other cards that can be sent over email. It may not be a lot at first, but if they keep doing it, and you keep sending them, it could add up to quite a bit.
It was after his confession of love that he switched tactics when he realized that wasn't going to work. He asked me to be his business partner instead. He still had yet to ask me for money, and I was beginning to wonder when he would.
He wants me to be his what??? He has no idea who he's talking to if he thinks I would make a good manager of anything.
It wasn't unti the next morning that he finally pulled out the money card.
I tried calling him out on his scheme by sending a screenshot of the real person saying he would never ask for money in any form. He kept pleading.
That was it, I was done playing. I gave him an ultimatum, give me what I want, or no money. He gave more excuses and more pleading.
Too bad I can't get a job with some agency to do be a catfish lure and play along until the agency is ready to drop the anchor.
Other warning signs you should look for are refusal to ever meet, or unable to meet. Also, if they claim to be from the US, Canada, or England, or other English speaking countries, and seems to have a bad handle of the language, run. Yes, this person's English was not that good, but he claimed to be from Norway, so his English might not be that good.
Again, and this cannot be stressed enough, if anyone is asking you for money in this manner, no matter how convincing they are, don't do it. I read an article about a woman who thought that the real Phil Collins had contacted her and she ended up sending him almost $15,000 over a year's time.
After experiencing this first hand, I know now how easy it can be to get caught up in these schemes. They are quite convincing, they will give you sob stories, they will give you a million reasons why they need the money. The only mistake that this one made, is he didn't spend enough time trying to kindle a friendship, he mistakenly thought I had fallen for it hook, line, and sinker. Of course, that is what I had intended all along. Sure, I could have been more convincing, made it sound like I would leave my husband for him, or whatever, but this worked.
I certainly don't recommend trying to catfish a catfisher, it is extremely time-consuming, but it is very eye-opening. I learned a lot about myself when I caught myself briefly doubting that he was a catfisher. As I researched more about catfishers and read stories from people who have been catfished, I learned that not all catfishers move as quickly as this one did. Some will actually try to cultivate a relationship over weeks, sometimes months, in order to get money. Those that do that are often more successful, but I would imagine it takes a great deal of patience. But, those who use celebrities as their tactic are also quite successful as well. Because who doesn't want to think that some gorgeous celebrity is head over heels in love with them. Isn't that everyone's wish? Well, maybe not everyone's, but certainly a lot of people's. So, my take away advice, stay safe, it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. And if they start asking for money, bail. If they refuse to prove their identity, bail. Block, report, and move on with your life. If you gave money, report it to the authorities.
Wow! Amazing and a bit scary. I'm glad you're smarter than the average... human.
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