What is sexual harassment?
A few weeks ago, I was leaving Smiths. A man was leaning against the wall outside the store. As I walked past, he said "It's getting cold, you'll need a sweater soon." I nodded, and said "Yep." He then said, "Have a great day." I said "thanks," and continued on my way.
Little did I know, there was a woman behind me fuming at that interaction. As I approached my car, she insisted that what had transpired was sexual harassment. I was confused because at no point did I ever feel threatened by this man, or harassed in anyway shape or form. But she was adamant, and stormed off to her car when I disagreed with her.
I was left feeling very confused. Having experienced sexual harassment before, I was pretty sure I knew what it was. So, I went to Facebook and posed the question, was this really sexual harassment, or was that poor woman very misguided. It was generally agreed that was not sexual harassment, but rather a man trying to be friendly and start up a conversation.
So why was that woman adamant that man was trying to sexually harass me? I thought back to the incident, was there something I missed? Did she see something I didn't? Maybe, but I really couldn't think of what I could have possibly missed about that that would have made it sexual harassment.
According to the dictionary sexual harassment is "harassment (typically of a woman) in a workplace, or other professional or social situation, involving the making of unwanted sexual advances or obscene remarks."
Ok.... He wasn't making unwanted sexual advances - he wasn't making any sexual advances... and he wasn't making any obscene remarks. So according to that definition, he was most definitely not sexual harassing me. I wouldn't even consider what he said flirting.
So why was she so upset? Good question. I think it has a lot to do with media. Lately, every white male that is well known, is being accused of sexual harassment. I know that some of those accusations are very valid. No doubt in my mind that many of them have done that and worse. But I think it's starting to make some people scared of all interaction with males - white males in particular. I have had men tell me that they are afraid to flirt, or even say something as benign as "hello," to women because they are worried it will be misconstrued as sexual harassment.
Is that the kind of world we want to live in, that simple conversations can no longer exist for fear of coming off as harassment? I know I don't. I would hate to think what that poor woman would do if she had been through half of what I consider real sexual harassment. I would hate to wish what I have been through on anyone, and I know my experience with sexual harassment is tame compared to some. But I think we need to have a realistic view of what sexual harassment is and what it isn't so that we don't have women living in fear that every little action by a man is harassment, and that men don't have to live in fear that women are going to accuse them of sexually harassing them when they clearly are not.
Little did I know, there was a woman behind me fuming at that interaction. As I approached my car, she insisted that what had transpired was sexual harassment. I was confused because at no point did I ever feel threatened by this man, or harassed in anyway shape or form. But she was adamant, and stormed off to her car when I disagreed with her.
I was left feeling very confused. Having experienced sexual harassment before, I was pretty sure I knew what it was. So, I went to Facebook and posed the question, was this really sexual harassment, or was that poor woman very misguided. It was generally agreed that was not sexual harassment, but rather a man trying to be friendly and start up a conversation.
So why was that woman adamant that man was trying to sexually harass me? I thought back to the incident, was there something I missed? Did she see something I didn't? Maybe, but I really couldn't think of what I could have possibly missed about that that would have made it sexual harassment.
According to the dictionary sexual harassment is "harassment (typically of a woman) in a workplace, or other professional or social situation, involving the making of unwanted sexual advances or obscene remarks."
Ok.... He wasn't making unwanted sexual advances - he wasn't making any sexual advances... and he wasn't making any obscene remarks. So according to that definition, he was most definitely not sexual harassing me. I wouldn't even consider what he said flirting.
So why was she so upset? Good question. I think it has a lot to do with media. Lately, every white male that is well known, is being accused of sexual harassment. I know that some of those accusations are very valid. No doubt in my mind that many of them have done that and worse. But I think it's starting to make some people scared of all interaction with males - white males in particular. I have had men tell me that they are afraid to flirt, or even say something as benign as "hello," to women because they are worried it will be misconstrued as sexual harassment.
Is that the kind of world we want to live in, that simple conversations can no longer exist for fear of coming off as harassment? I know I don't. I would hate to think what that poor woman would do if she had been through half of what I consider real sexual harassment. I would hate to wish what I have been through on anyone, and I know my experience with sexual harassment is tame compared to some. But I think we need to have a realistic view of what sexual harassment is and what it isn't so that we don't have women living in fear that every little action by a man is harassment, and that men don't have to live in fear that women are going to accuse them of sexually harassing them when they clearly are not.
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