What wearing a mask for the last 2 years has done for me

 I have two conditions that make me nervous about going out in public, though I didn't realize just how nervous I was about it until I had to start wearing masks.  One is a condition called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, which causes excess facial hair.  For a woman, that can be extremely embarrassing.  I wax once a week and tweeze in between, but I still find it very hard to keep up with, and I've been called some very nasty things over the years when people see I have dark hair over my lip or under my chin.  It's very hurtful. 

The other has people assuming I'm depressed.  You've heard of resting bitch face, well, I have resting frown face.  I'm NOT depressed, but so many people assume I am because my face rests in a frown.  This is due to the structure of my jaw, not my emotional state of mind.  But, there's not a whole lot I can do unless I plaster a fake smile on my face all day - which isn't feasible or sustainable either.  The orthodontist told me they could fix this if they break my jaw and move it forward to get rid of the massive underbite, which would help relax my jaw muscles, and eventually stop my face from holding itself in a frown.  But, the complications of such an invasive surgery aren't worth the risk in my opinion. If I'd had braces when my jaw was still growing, this might've solved the entire thing. To give you an idea of how bad my overbite is, a regular, healthy jaw has 2-4 mm gap between the top and bottom teeth.  I have a 9mm gap. I can fit the entire tip of my pinkie finger in between my teeth.  This causes all sorts of problems in addition to the permanent frown face.  TMJ, tinnitus, constant jaw pain, along with pain in all the muscles associated with moving the jaw.  I sleep with my jaw clenched in order to keep from suffocating to death, which causes further frowning. Physical therapy could probably help, but it won't fix the smaller lower jaw that is the true cause of this whole mess. (This is just a PSA - if your child has an underbite, don't put off getting braces.  If your child is a mouth breather, figure out a way to fix it ASAP, because that can cause an underdeveloped lower jaw, leading to the misery I'm in)

Since wearing the masks, I've gotten tons of compliments, saying how great I look, how happy I seem, etc.  Simply because they can't see my permanent frown face or my facial hair. 

So, masks, as much as everyone hates them, have actually been good for me in a way.  I'm sad to admit this, but I haven't had to worry about being called nasty names for excess facial hair if I missed a waxing.  But, more importantly, I don't have to hear "Smile more. It doesn't hurt to smile.  Why are you so sad? Smiles make you beautiful."  I usually just smile and walk away, but when I get told I'm depressed by people who don't even know me, or people who think they know me, and have just always thought I was depressed, those are the ones that hurt the most.  So, if you see me out and about with a mask when most everyone is without one, one of the main reasons is I like the comfort of not having to be judged by my resting frown face. Being judged for being fearful of COVID is much easier to tolerate.  It may have boosted my self-esteem and confidence for a while, but now, I fear going back to those hurtful comments due to something I can fix without major surgery.  People are mean.