Love, Life and Everything

Here is something that many of you may not know about me.  I was not supposed to have children, or at the very least, getting pregnant would be very difficult for me.  I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome or PCOS.  This is why I cannot have anymore children.  I was diagnosed in 2003 after trying to get for a year to get pregnant.  It would take 2 more years and me finally giving up for me to finally get pregnant with my son. But is so much more than having a bunch of cysts on my ovaries.  It is an endocrine and a metabolic disorder.  It is systemic.  There are 4 main types of PCOS, and some types are more obvious than others.  For many women, it makes it nearly impossible to lose weight, diets and exercise just don't work very well, and they have to try 100 time harder just to lose a pound where it takes others a few workouts or cutting out a certain food.  I am fortunate that I am not one who deals so much with weight problems, but I do p...

Lyme disease is a nasty, nasty bug.  When not caught early, it can take a person, and completely transform their personality.  It's not easy to be a person with Lyme.  It is also not easy to be the spouse or caretaker of someone who has Lyme.  The person you once knew, the one you thought you married, is gone.  Destroyed.  Only glimpses of the person he once was are available.  Instead, you get an irrational, angry, sometimes suicidal individual.  They go through depression, which is common with someone with a chronic illness.  But, they also have these bouts of irrational fear, irrational anger, and an irrational need to end it all.  It is incredibly painful to watch the person you thought you knew, act in these strange, sometimes psychotic ways.  But you  have to remember, it's the disease, not the person, that is causing this.  But, sometimes, it's difficult to remember that, when you are trying to figure out what you'v...

Last night, I was supposed to go see Vanilla Pop play at the Bull O' The Woods.  They ended up canceling because we were supposed to get a big snowstorm.  Well, the giant snowstorm predicted didn't come exactly as planned, we did get snow.  About 3 inches in town, and it's still snowing.  Usually, by this time of the year, everyone is sick of the massive amounts of snow, and all the shoveling and plowing.  But not this year.  This is our first real snow of the winter.  This is the first time we've had to move our cars so they could plow the parking lot.  This is the first time the guy that  plows our parking lot has moved his tractor from its winter location at the front of our building.  This was the first time I saw joy in the faces of those shoveling and sweeping.  3 inches of snow is not much for us, but it is a lot when you go so long without snow.

Many years ago, as I was struggling with a few mental issues regarding reality in middle school, Duran Duran's song, "Ordinary World," came on the radio, and I realized I had to pull myself out of my daydream world and start facing the world around me.  I was doing the things I was doing as an escape from the torment that is middle school, but it was unhealthy, and I realized after listening to that song, that I needed to get a grip on reality before I slipped away.  So, I did. Years later, when I was struggling to get over an ex, Collective Soul's song, "Shine," came on MTV.  I had heard it many times before that (it had been released more than a year before this), but this time, it really resonated with me.  I realized that I had an inner divine light that was not contingent on having a boyfriend.  I could stand on my own.  In that instant, I was over him, and I no longer "needed" him.  Though we dated one more time after that, I was able to wa...

It's official.  I just submitted my thesis.  All of my other assignments are complete and submitted.  I am having a mix of emotions.  I told my hubby, and I cried.  I am smiling at the same time.  Phew, what a relief, and at the same time, I'm thinking, is this it, did I really do this?  Wow!  3 years, and I'm finally finished!!!  It feels surreal at the moment.  I'm not even sure that I'm really finished.   It will really set in when I get my final grades.  If I get an 'A' in this class, I will graduate with honors.  Wow!!  It will also be more real in 3 weeks when I realize that I don't have to start another class.  What will I do with myself you ask?  If you haven't done so already, read my post titled "goals" from last week.

I was recently reminded that a certain individual in my life lives his life by his honorable intentions.  Not his actions.  His intentions.  You might think, "Ok, well, he's honorable, so that makes him a good person, right?"  Wrong.  His so called honorable intentions do not match his actions, especially when he is drinking, which is more often than not. Case in point, he forced his way into a woman's car to try to "protect" her from his imagined assailants that would force their way into her car while she was camping.  He was not welcome in her car, and she didn't need his protection.  But he insisted that he had done nothing because his intentions were honorable.  Wait. What?  It's OK to force your way into someone's personal space to try to protect them from the very thing that you were doing because your intentions were honorable?  No.  I don't think so.  So he apologized, and life moved on.  And though his transg...

Everyone keeps asking me what my plans are once I graduate in a few weeks.  So here is a quick run down.  No, I won't be continuing on to get my PHd.  My master's is quite enough, thank you. I am enrolled in a training program to become a certified academic language therapist to help dyslexic people learn to read.  With my master's I will be able to go into business for myself without relying on the schools or my instructor to buy testing materials for me that I can only get with a master's degree.  Going into business for myself will also allow me to reach dyslexic students who don't qualify for services through the school. In addition to continuing my training program, I will finally have time to work on my books.  I hope to be published within the next year or two with my paranormal spy trilogy that takes place in New Mexico (see my Facebook author's page, https://www.facebook.com/saraelizabethwriter/ for more info on that - but wait until after the 15...